Steroids Are Peformance DE-HANCERS
April 20, 2009 · John Fennelly · Jump to comments
Article Source: Bleacher Report - New York Yankees
Beating the Dead Horse
Have I rendered my opinion about Performance-enhancing substances to you yet?
No? Well, allow me—steroids are misunderstood. They receive too much credit for assisting athletes on the field of play. In reality, they don’t make much of a difference because plenty of sucky players took them and guess what—they still sucked.
The only thing PEDs do is make a person completely intolerable and turn them into incredible liars. Suddenly everyone is an Egyptian—standing waist deep in de-nial.
Take Roger Clemens, for instance. He was a user. And now he’s a deny-er. His cloak of invincibility has worn thin and now he seeks clemency (hey – a pun!). He thinks we’re stupid. We think he’s stupid. The only problem is that there 303 million of us and only one of him. And to top it off, his testicles are the size of freeze-dried raisins. What a dick.
Mark McGwire—all 6’5″ 260 lbs of him—sat in a pool of his own tears in front of a congressional committee. Like a spoiled child. Instead of lying, McGwire chose not to tell the truth. Is there a difference? Ask any nun that walloped me in grammar school – NO.
Lance Armstrong is pissed off because the French won’t give him an opportunity to win his 8th Tour-de-France. He has been accused of being a user. He has—like the others I mentioned—never tested positive, but I think we can pretty much draw the conclusions. Armstrong had one of his nuts removed due to cancer.
Is ist related to PEDs? We don’t know, so we can’t accuse him. But we can accuse him of intolerable behavior. He dumped his wife of many years for singer Sheryl Crow, then dumped her. Hell, I have two nuts and I’m not doing nearly thet well….
I could mention some others but we all know that Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi are two dicks – even without PEDs. Lyle Alzado was wildman on the field, he was on something, that’s for sure. When he died of cancer, it was sad, I will admit.
While we’re on the subject—I have decided to look at some amazing achievements of people who used performance de-hancing substances….
Mickey Mantle hit 536 HRs. He was hungover most of the time.
Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter while he was on acid. I wonder what that was like? I know about the acid part, but I no the no-hitter part….
Ricky Williams is a very productive RB for the Miami Dolphins. He smokes more pot than Cheech AND Chong.
Not to mention all of those great coked-out NBA and MLB legends of the 1980’s…
Bottom line—don’t get wrapped up in what other people put in their bodies…sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t.
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