SI’s Selena Roberts Nearly Out of Scandals To Accuse A-Rod of (Satire)
May 5, 2009 · The Sports Comedian · Jump to comments
Article Source: Bleacher Report - New York Yankees
Despite her tell-all book on Alex Rodriguez coming out this week, Sports Illustrated’s Selena Roberts may soon find herself out of a job. In her new book, she reveals brand new scandals about A-Rod that have the entire sports world talking, such as high-school steroids and pitch-tipping.
But her editors reveal that she may be out of good A-Rod stories to tell. Sources inside SI reveal that her latest pieces, A-Rod Has Alien Baby With Queen Of Marxuus 11 and Rodriquez Ate Cal Ripken To Absorb His Shortstop Power are a bit of a stretch, even for them.
“I am still a great sportswriter, and I will prove to these doubters that there are still scandals out there I have no yet accused him of,” fired back Roberts. “I spent all day going through books about baseball cheating, and I think I’ve found a few more of these I can get to stick on him. If you thought steroids were wild, wait until you hear about his spitballs when he turns a double play.”
Her editors then suggested to Roberts that maybe she try to write about something other than A-Rod, but her response was “I don’t understand what that means…”
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